. . . even if they’re depleting my Paypal balance faster than my siblings can deplete my payroll account. They’ll help me trim down for my wedding.

So far, I’ve purchased discounted sandwiches, doughnuts, hotel stays, buffet meals, and even the photobooth for my wedding, but what I’m most looking forward to use are my workout coupons. I have purchased coupons for Barre3 sessions, classes at Gold’s Gym (I plan on taking Zumba), and a four-week personalized fitness program at Fitness First. I haven’t availed of these yet because I can barely breathe this month, but as soon as June comes in, I’ll start with the Fitness First program.

Meanwhile, I think I’ll start reading up on pre workout supplement reviews.

This was lunch:

And this was dinner:

And lunch and dinner will be like this for the next 10 days, until my brother’s wedding. I haven’t been successful with my fitness goal, I haven’t haven’t been updating my fitness journal since may weight just isn’t budging anymore. For now, let’s just blame the kitten, shall we? She takes up ALL my time when I’m home that I really haven’t been able to do anything else, much less exercise. Yes, let’s blame the kitten.

So there, I hope I survive, and I hope I lose couple more pounds before I slip into my fuchsia abay dress. Good thing I like fruits. I’m getting so much roughage now that I don’t think I’ll need to browse colon cleanse reviews anytime soon.

I was alarmed when my officemate Cheska read out this headline at work today: “Bigger waistline, bigger risk of dying.”

I’ll say it: I have a BIG tummy. It ranges in size from 2 months pregnant to 4 months pregnant depending on my underwear, how much I just ate, or my bowel movement that morning. (TMI, I know. Gross.) And it isn’t just me, Abet is also, um, abdominally endowed.

This isn’t new to me, I’ve always known that a wide midsection is unhealthy because it means that the internal organs are covered in fat, but reading the article really freaked me out. I actually didn’t have any appetite for dinner.

I really need to focus on getting my waistline down, and not just for aesthetic reasons anymore. And I need to convince Abet to do the same. We have this grand plan of growing old into Lolo and Lola in love, so we can’t afford to have that bigger risk of us dying. Sorry to be so morbid.

Once we’re married, I’m going to make sure that Abet and I will have a very healthy lifestyle. I’m going to start stocking up on healthy recipes and scouting for folding treadmills and portable ab machines in the meantime. For now, we’ll be constantly reminding each other to eat healthy, and I’ll be working out with my Pilates videos and my mom’s Ab Rocket while he rides around on his bike. We just have to get rid of these belly flabs.

Seems like those ab workouts and dieting are starting to pay off. I swear my tummy is not as big as it was a couple of weeks ago. While I still could pass of as pregnant, I now look like I’m just two months pregnant instead of four (Benjamin Button’s in my tummy, y’all). Abet also says my midsection’s smaller now.

A few days ago, my officemate Chris commented during lunchtime that “my beltbag is vanishing.” For a moment, I didn’t know if I should be pleased or if I want to throw my oatmeal in his face. The oatmeal stayed in my mug; I just shrugged it off and considered it a compliment.

I’m excited at the thought of getting my waist back, as well as other parts of my anatomy: my cheekbones, my jawline, and most especially my clavicles. Oh, how I miss my clavicles! I’ve been eating well (no rice and softdrinks) and moving a lot (exercise bike + Pilates) lately. I don’t know if I’ve already lost weight, I haven’t stepped on the bathroom scale in days, but I certainly do feel more energized and lighter, and I’m sleeping better as well.

I just scheduled a Barre3 session for tomorrow afternoon. Waist, I’ll be seeing you real soon!

Oh, how I long to look like this again!

This was taken three years and sixteen pounds ago when I went to Boracay with my sister and boyfriend, and it’s now my top ‘thinspiration pic.’ I got the idea of looking at my own picture in my thinner years when the need arises from Kaith, and I’ve been looking at this pic a lot lately.

I’m not skinny-thin in this pic, I never will be. I was 136 lbs. back then, and while 136 lbs. sounds hefty, do take note that I’m a tall girl, and my boobs alone probably weigh 10 lbs. (Yeah, I have boobs, can’t really hide them in a swimsuit.) And then there are my hips and my booty. At that weight, I can do splits and cartwheels.

Anyway, right now, I’m on a mission to get my friggin’ sexy back! I look NOTHING like I did three years ago, and it gets frustrating at times, depressing at the worst. And even worse, I’m unhealthy. Yeah. At 27 years old, I’m creaking and aching, and that’s just so wrong.

I’ve had enough of feeling frustrated and being sluggish and not fitting into the clothes I want to wear. Recently, I’ve been trying to eat well (fruits and vegetables galore, and less rice, red meat, sweets and soda) and exercise regularly (weights in the morning, cardio and Pilates after work). I’m pretty proud of myself. While it’s a struggle, I think I’m doing okay. I still falter at times, like two Krispy Kreme donuts in a row, but I try to compensate for it by exercising more.

I realize that dieting hard-core isn’t really for me. Four days on the South Beach Diet with no carbs and no fruits (I really need my fruits) made me cranky, and cranky is not good for my job. Exercising more is easier for me than eating less, so that’s what I’m going to do. This weekend, I’ll try Bikram Yoga or Barre3. Next weekend, I want to swim or dance or jog or play badminton. I’m going to be active! I’ll still continue with the tons of fruits and veggies and still cut back on the bad stuff.

I want to do cartwheels and splits again.

I WANT TO BE HOT AGAIN.

And that’s just what I’m going to be. Watch out for me.