Category Archives: abet

Homestretch

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Abet is almost done with grad school, but until then, he’s got a lot of work to do.

My husband has been so busy in the last few weeks with rehearsals and with writing his paper for his comprehensive exam. He hasn’t been eating well and sleeping enough that he’s losing weight at such a fast pace, you’d think he was taking testoripped. Plus, I’m sad to say, he’s we’re smoking again. Our stress levels are at their highest. The next couple of weeks are going to get even more busy.

I’ve relieved him of Whiskey duties–feeding, bathing, cleaning up–until his last recital is over. He barely has time to shower, let alone take care of the dog. I have also volunteered to type his paper. I wish I could do more, but there’s really not much for me to do.

I know I sound like a broken record now, but I. CAN’T. WAIT. FOR. THIS. TO. BE. OVER.

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31

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My dearest husband turns 31 today.

I thank the Lord everyday for the blessing that he is. After all these years, he still makes me feel like I’m the happiest, luckiest woman on the face of the earth.

–=-=–

All he wanted for his birthday was to celebrate with his loved ones, so we invited his mother, his brother, and his nephew over for dinner. The four of us, we’re his world.

We had a really simple celebration, I just cooked spaghetti (which was quite good, if I may say so myself), barbecue from the friendly neighborhood isawan (because we don’t have any charcoal grills), bread, salad with store-bought Italian dressing, cake, and ice cream. Simsimi provided the evening’s entertainment.

It was an evening full of love and happiness, just like how birthdays should be.

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If I ever won the lottery

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…one of the first things I’ll do is buy my husband any guitar he wants.

We were at the Cultural Center last night for the last concert of the guitar festival (Abet conducted the UST Guitar Orchestra for the first time), and there were guitar merchandise everywhere, from guitars of all price ranges to instruction books, CDs and DVDs, emg pickups (I think), and strings. There were guitars on display, and some of them cost hundreds of thousands–so much more than what I earn in a year. Oh, how I’d love for my husband to have one of those!

Now, about my Abet, he is the least materialistic, most contented, and most practical person I know. Sure, I know he’d love to have an instrument of high quality–as any serious musician would–but he understands that those guitars are way beyond what we can afford at this point. And instead of wasting his time pining for expensive guitars, he concentrates on making his current instrument produce the best sound it can.

This saddens me a bit because I know that his guitar right now is not at par with his skills. His playing is top caliber–his mentor Ruben Reyes has taught him well, and he works really hard to keep improving.

I know that Abet will get to have his nice instrument someday. He deserves it. We all know how good karma works. He’ll probably have to win it himself in some competition, there’s a much bigger chance of that happening than me winning the lotto.

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Christmas 2011

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So, my loves, what did you do over the holidays?

As for me, the last few days were just filled with love and joy. This Christmas is extra special for Abet and me because it’s our first Christmas as a married couple, which means we have three families to spend the holidays with: his family, my family, and our own little family of two.

Last December 23, my family visited Abet and me the first time. I was so happy to have them all there, to have them see our home and meet our dogs (Phoebe comes with us whenever we spend weekends at my parents’).

Ooops, my dad is watafez in this photo. Sorry Papi, it’s the only one I have.We missed my brother Momon, who’s spending the holidays in the US with his in-laws. The curtains don’t match our home, I know. Those are my mother-in-law’s, we haven’t bought our own yet.

Moving on, Christmas Eve was spent at my in-laws’ house (which is just a minute away from our home, and that’s by foot). My brother-in-law Obet made us all wear red so he can take family portraits.

The only red piece of clothing I owned was a pambahay shirt, that had to do.

Christmas Day was at my parents’ house. This year’s celebration was very austere compared to what we’re used to, partly because Momon isn’t here to celebrate with us, and partly because now is not the time for grand celebrations, not after what happened to our beloved Cagayan de Oro which we used to call home. My parents donated to Sendong, therefore, just a simple Christmas celebration this year.

We had pansit and roasted chicken for Christmas lunch, but those weren’t your ordinary chickens. My dad and my brothers bought three native chickens a couple of days before, and those were slaughtered, stuffed silly with lemongrass, and roasted for our holiday meal.

You should have seen our backyard sink, it was gruesome. Thank you Aringkingking, Nokma, and Macmashaw for sacrificing your lives in order for us to have a feast. Yes, they had names. Burp.

Anyway, since Christmas Eve and Christmas Day were spent with our families, Abet and I started our own tradition. We will have our Christmas celebration, just the two of us in our home, the day after Christmas. December 26 will be Mr. & Mrs. Mesa’s Christmas Celebration Day. December 26 is when we’ll have a nice homemade candlelit dinner and that’s when we’ll open the presents under our tree.

For dinner, we made pesto spaghetti (using store-bought pesto) and we made fried chicken for the first time. Abet bought white wine. For dessert, we had fresh fruits dipped in melted Toblerone. Abet brewed a pot of Starbucks Christmas Blend coffee (now only P87.50 at 30% off, good for 8 cups!!!) to enjoy while we opened our presents. It was such a fun, memorable evening, I’m so glad we started this little tradition, and I can’t wait for next year (the food should be much better then).

I ate so much in the last week and will continue to eat a lot until next week, I’ll need to go back to Bikram when 2012 comes in (but not until I get a new yoga mat since I can’t find my current one). I have a lot of exercise to do to make up for all the food I’m stuffing my face with. I’ll worry about that in a few days, but in the meantime, I’m enjoying the time–and the food–with the people I love the most.

I hope you all had good Christmases spent with family, everyone! Stay safe this New Year!

HAPPY HOLIDAYS!

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Handyman Abet

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One of the things I discovered about my new husband is that he likes to do home improvement stuff around our house. Whether it’s assembling, hanging, installing, screwing, or drilling that needs to be done, he’ll eagerly do it. He even wants to repaint our home himself. I’m glad that he enjoys doing all these things since I can’t be counted on to do them.

Abet now considers Ace Hardware as a new happy place. I won’t be surprised if he asks me for power tools or concrete blades for Christmas.

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The couple that quits smoking together

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Our love story started with four magic words: “Excuse me, pwedeng makisindi?”

It was November 24, 2005, Thursday, at the side entrance of the Cultural Center of the Philippines. I couldn’t find my tiny black lighter inside my giant Nine West bag with the million pockets, so I asked for a light from the guy smoking beside me. To cut a long story short, guy-smoking-beside-me and I are now married.

Abet and I had been heavy smokers during our boyfriend-girlfriend years, much to my mother’s chagrin. We did realize that all that smoking could not be good for us — especially once we have kids — so we decided to quit once we’re married.

I’m pleased to announce that we haven’t been smoking since we tied the knot more than a month ago. I quit cold turkey — the best way to go, IMHO — while Abet weaned himself by using electronic cigarettes months before our wedding. He’s off e-cigs now as well, I don’t think he’ll be looking into cigar humidors anytime.

Smoking has already done its part to bring us together, we no longer need it. I’m so glad Abet and I did this for ourselves. It’s still a struggle, there are times when we’re tempted to light up, and we’ve fallen off the proverbial wagon once (after a big fight, mwehehe). But we’re on the right track, and we’re determined to keep ourselves smoke-free moving forward. I’m sure my mother is glad.

Look, Ma, no cigarettes!

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Our First Duet

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 Abet had this bright idea to have a first duet instead of the traditional first dance — him on guitar, me on cello. It’s mainly because he absolutely refuses to dance. I didn’t want to do it at first because our musical skills are not at par. Abet is a national champion (he won the NAMCYA for guitar in 2005), while I studied cello until Suzuki Book 3 (a children’s method). He practices six hours per day while I practice… once every six months. :P But then again, why not?  I haven’t seen it done before, most of my friends have never heard me play, and it will be oh-so Abet and Dea, so uniquely us. After all, it was music that brought us together.

I chose the piece we played, Salut d’Amour, op. 12 by British composer Sir Edward Elgar. It means ‘greeting of love.’ It’s a piece originally for piano and violin which Abet arranged (and super-simplified to Dea-level) for guitar and cello.

I was nervous about it, but Abet told me to just enjoy the moment, and I did. Even as I heard my notes go flat and my strings screech against my bow, I enjoyed it. I had fun, can you tell?

I am so glad that we got to do this. Our duet is one of my favorite wedding moments. I’ll forever cherish this comment left by my friend Bunny on my Facebook:

Most of the time that you were playing, I was watching how Abet looked so admiringly at you – and not at his guitar. Ikaw na, Dea. Ikaw na. =D

May this be the start of a lifetime of making beautiful music together.

*first 3 photos from my friend Maedeleine Chua’s Facebook, last photo by Mimi+Karl

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Mom&Pop

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taken during my mom’s doctorate graduation last year

Happy anniversary to my parents, who have the MOST AWESOME MARRIAGE EVER. They stuck it out especially in worse, in sickness, and in poorer. 33 years of marriage and they are still so in love, still go on dates, still hold hands in public, and still sleep intertwined you won’t know which limb belongs to whom. I am going into my own marriage praying that Abet and I will have what they have with each other.

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I’m engaged!!!

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Officially, that is.

But before I tell you my proposal story, let me say this: I do not believe in proposals. The traditional proposal, I mean. I do not believe that it should be the guy’s decision on when he and his girl should get married. It should be decided together. I have friends who are waiting, waiting, eagerly waiting for their boyfriends to ask for their hands in marriage, and I won’t have any of that for myself. Girlfriend, if you think it’s time to get married, talk to your man. Don’t just wait like some damsel in distress. Oh, and for majority of the men I know, the timing of the marriage proposal depended on one thing: on when he can afford to buy an engagement ring. I don’t know about you, but I wasn’t going to wait around until he’s scrounged up enough for a ring to know if he wants us to end up at the altar or not. I don’t really even believe in engagement rings, but that’s another story.

Anywayyyyyyy, on to my story. Abet asked me to marry him a long time ago. How long ago? Since we’ve been together for, erm, 4 hours. *gag* We’re gross, I know. But seriously, I knew very early on that we were going to end up together, never mind that he’s my first boyfriend and it was my first time to be in love and really, what did I know back then? For the longest time we talked about getting married on our fifth anniversary, and in 2009 we booked our church to reserve our date. We started getting our suppliers one by one by 2010, and that’s how our wedding preparations came about. No will-you-marry-me moment, just mutual understanding that marriage is where we’re headed after five years as boyfriend-girlfriend.

So, I never really knew when we were supposed to be engaged. Was it that day when we first kissed and he asked me to marry him? Or when we booked our church two and a half years before our wedding date? I never called Abet my fiancé, because I didn’t really know when he transitioned from boyfriend to husband-to-be. When I got asked how Abet proposed, I had nothing to say, and when I got asked about my ring, I had nothing to show. And that was honestly fine with me, because our love story is special.

But noooooo, my dear Abet had something else in mind. On Father’s Day this year, in front of my parents and all my siblings, Abet got down on one knee and presented me with a ring and popped the question. Or at least I assume he asked, because I sure as hell had no idea what was going on. I was lying down on the sofa watching Karate Kid on HBO when Abet was practically pulling me to get up, and my sister rounded everyone up saying, “May sasabihin si Abet.” I started crying at that point (hello, ano pa ba yun???) and had the faintest recollection of the events that came immediately afterwards. Abet knelt on one knee and there was a ring and then there were lots of hugging and lots of noise and my brother was taking pictures — and then my cat Uma threw up (I knerrr, my spoiled cat had to steal my moment). That’s when I got back to my senses, and there was already a gorgeous ring on my left hand. Abet said I never answered.

So there. I’m engaged. Officially engaged. I have a ring to show and a story to tell, but more importantly, Abet gave me a special memory I will forever treasure: being proposed to in front of the people I love the most.

I have no decent pictures. My hair was a mess, I was lying down on the sofa before Abet disturbed my movie-watching, after all. These will have to do:

Good thing I painted my nails with pretty polish, Essie Charmeuse. But I wish I had gotten a manicure. :S

I knew I was going to get a ring because Abet asked me what I wanted (thank God!). I wanted a solitaire. The diamond didn’t have to be big, but I wanted one that is of good clarity (at least VS1), must be white (at least J), and I wanted the best possible cut (Ideal) so that it will sparkle (yes, I know diamonds, thanks Metro Weddings). I can’t stand big but cloudy/yellowish/dull stones. My center stone isn’t that big, but it twinkles, even in dim light. (I feel like a man defending a small willy.) I’m in love with my ring! Thanks for getting me what I want, baby.

The ring also came with GIA certification detailing its 4 C’s, instead of just a certificate from the store signed by some random jeweler. Mas madaling isanla. I kid! I’m not parting with this baby, or at least I hope I won’t have to. Parang aso lang na may PCCI papers!

Four months to go and we just got officially engaged. And I wouldn’t have it any other way.

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Sunday Flowers

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Look at what my thoughtful boyfriend got me last weekend:

The bouquet, not the cat.

I love flowers, from the fanciest blooms to little wildflowers you can pick up on the sidewalk, and Abet makes sure I get some every now and then. Yes, from the fanciest blooms to those na pinitas lang from somewhere.

Lucky for me (and maybe also for him), his house is just a few skips away from Dangwa, the best place to get the freshest, least expensive, and most beautiful flowers in the metro. He doesn’t need to browse for www.ProFlowerscoupons.com to get me my bouquets.

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No babies for us anytime soon.

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I often get asked this question: “Will you and Abet have a baby right after your wedding?” Or “When will you be having a baby?”

Well, in case anyone else is wondering the same thing, let me tell ya: Abet and I do not plan on having a baby anytime soon after our wedding. Maybe after a year or two of marriage. We want to have our honeymoon period for us long as we can (actually, I want us to be in the honeymoon stage until we’re grandparents). He’ll be my baby in the meantime, and I’ll be his. Also, we still have our travel plans, and I still have my 31 Before 31 project.

And to anyone who’s concerned about my ticking biological clock, no need to worry. We want to have my first baby when I’m in my early thirties, just like my mom did. My mom had me, the eldest, when she was 31, and had Joe, the youngest, at 41. We all turned out well, if I may say so myself. Especially Joe!

So there. Don’t expect any baby announcements until three to four years from now.

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February Flowers

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Abet and I aren’t into Valentine’s Day, we don’t really celebrate it. We just greet each other a Happy Valentine’s via text, that’s the most we do as far as celebrating February 14 as a couple go.  I really don’t care about the lack of fanfare, I’m just glad that I don’t have to browse free dating online sites when the second week of February comes along. I belong to someone who loves me with all his heart, and the one I love with all my heart belongs to me. That’s all that matters. Besides, he spoils me year-round with “wala lang” presents, and those mean more to me than an obligatory special-occasion gift.

That being said, I was not expecting anything more than a text greeting last Monday. And I didn’t get anything more than a text greeting last Monday.

Imagine my surprise when a delivery guy showed up at our house earlier today with a bouquet of flowers, two days after Valentine’s! Abet never runs out of ways to surprise me! He says it’s not a Valentine’s gift, but a 52nd Month gift. Now, while Abet isn’t into Valentine’s, he’s big on monthsarries. (And yeah, I said I’d never use the word ‘monthsarry ‘ — I once forbade Abet to use that term — but really, there’s no better word.)

Guess who loves the flowers as much as I do.

My boyfriend is the best, he really is. I can’t wait to marry this guy exactly 8 months from now.

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